Losing my mind . . . almost

I bet you're wondering what happened to me and the bag that drove me out of my mind. No, I didn't give up. For the remainder of Friday, I tried all kinds of different combinations as to how to finish the last 20%. I worked diligently (as in pinning and unpinning, staring, sewing and ripping) from noon until W whisked me off at 6:00 for a night of bowling with friends. I figured I deserved a break. Saturday was spent just like Friday, except now, the edges of the bag were looking a bit tattered than the day before. Sunday . . . the break down. After much huffing, cursing and realizing that I had made the same mistake for the second time, I stormed into my bedroom and threw myself onto the bed with as much grace as a polar bear. I'm a bit embarrassed, but I have to admit it . . . I cried. I cried out of shear frustration! I wanted to howl away, but W was in the next room so I shoved my head under a pillow to stifle my sobs. Why can't I figure it out?! Am I that stupid?! I know I'm smart, why can't I get it?! Seriously!? These thoughts went round and round in my moment of torment. Even worse, these thoughts needled their way in. Maybe I'm not meant for this. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should just stop right now and look for a real job. Then, after all our hoping to make it (even just a little), I'd have to break it to Shar that I wasn't up to snuff, that I was a big phony and I didn't have an inkling of sewing talent in me. Ugh, how depressing was I? That's when I caught myself. I needed to stop this self deprecation. (After all, I'm not a girl who likes to indulge in it for any reason.) What I needed to do was step away and BREATHE! It was all I was thinking about for the last three days. So, I let the unfinished bag sit untouched for the rest of the evening. Today, I didn't even think about it. Well, maybe I did for a little, if only to resolve that I would set it aside for the time being. For now, it's the first laying in a Work In Progress basket. There's no harm in moving to another project. I think I'll do another tote, finesse my technique with that bag and build up my confidence again.